Certain Inadequacies
by accioamber
Summary: James feels that he has inadequacies as a father and turns to Sirius to confide in him. Just a short little bit of fluff, I was in the mood.


**A/N: All the rights to Harry Potter go to JK Rowling and whoever else might have them...haha. This idea kind of came to me when I was writing a chapter for my other story, A New Life, (shameless plug), check it out if you want. **

**This is just a little bit of fluff. I'm in a fluff mood. ;]**

**Thanks for reading.**

Sirius Black was sitting on the sofa in his flat on a Saturday afternoon in November, listening to the radio and absentmindedly producing charmed birds from the tip of his wand. The room was quickly filling with them, but with a flick of his wand, they vanished. He was bored. He had thought many times about calling James and asking if he wanted to hang out, play some Wizard's chess or something, but he was probably busy with Lily and Harry. He knew that Remus wouldn't be up to doing anything as the full moon had been the night before, and well, he'd never really...liked Pettigrew all that much, he'd been more of a pet than a friend.

He was just contemplating going for a walk when he heard a knock at his door and a muffled sound which he couldn't identify. He got off the couch and walked to the door, opening it to reveal a frazzled looking James who was holding a screaming baby Harry. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, HE WON'T STOP CRYING!" James shoved past Sirius and into the flat, throwing the diaper bag on the floor and sitting on the couch. "Please, Harry, be quiet...I'm sorry, Harry," he said, rocking the baby back and forth gently.

Sirius stood in front of his best friend in awe, watching as the baby continued to shriek. Harry's chubby cheeks were red with effort, and big tears came from his bright green eyes. "Does he need his diaper changed?" Sirius asked, grabbing the diaper bag that was on the floor.

"I've changed him at least 10 times, that's not the problem. I tried feeding him, too, but he won't eat, he just keeps spitting it out. He probably wants Lily," James said bitterly.

After that, the two men tried everything to get little Harry to stop crying. They made faces at him (which only seemed to make his crying worse); they blew bubbles on his tummy; they sang to him; they dangled toys in front of him; they rocked him hundreds of time, passing him back and forth. After a half hour, the cries finally started to slow as James rubbed his back and paced back and forth, although they didn't completely stop. "Come on, son." He said quietly.

"Does he have a pacifier?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah it's in there somewhere," James said, gesturing to the diaper bag that Sirius had long ago cast aside in vain. He started digging through it again, midway through remembering he was a wizard and saying "Accio pacifier!". It zoomed out and into his hand, and he walked over and gently plugged it into Harry's mouth.

Finally, no pun intended, the magic cure. Harry's mouth latched onto it happily and he snuggled into James' neck, his hand splayed out like a tiny star on his shoulder.

"Is he asleep?" James asked quietly, still gently rubbing his back.

Sirius looked, and Harry's eyes had indeed closed, his breathing even. "Looks that way."

"Oh, finally. Geez." As gently as he could, James sank onto Sirius' couch and flicked his wand at the diaper bag. Several blankets that had been shoved inside came out and arranged themselves into a tiny nest that was just big enough for Harry. James laid his son gently into them and the baby snuggled up to them the way he had to James.

"Hey, where's Lily?" Sirius said in a low voice, sinking into a chair across from James.

"She went to meet with her sister. They haven't spoken in years and Lily really wants to reconnect with her. She thinks it's important that Harry be a part of his entire family, although if it were up to me, I'd keep him and her away from those Muggles. They're awful. She left him with me for the afternoon, figured it'd be best for her to talk with Petunia alone. Look at how well that's worked out." James said angrily.

"Come on, babies cry. They cry for everyone, Lily included." Sirius said.

"Yeah, I know, but before I came over here he was crying for an hour...I didn't know what to do so I just came here. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. You know I always enjoy seeing you and Harry, even if he's breaking ear drums." Sirius said with a wink.

James chuckled a little, but then the smile dropped off of his face as he looked over at his son. "I'm awful at this on my own, Sirius. You know, me and Lily, together we make it work...she's amazing with him. She's so great. But me...I can't even figure out what he wants!"

"Oh, stop it, James...Harry adores you, he just was in a bad mood today. You're a good father."

"I'm not so sure you're right about that." James said. "You know, I'm not used to worrying. In case you haven't noticed in the many years we've been friends, I'm usually a pretty confident guy." He chuckled a little. "But this kid, right here, he's changed everything forever. I've had to reevaluate everything that was important to me. Suddenly he-he and Lily- are the most important things in the world to me. I'm not number one anymore and that scares me because there's a huge potential for failure." James said, lightly touching Harry's cheek.

Sirius stared down at his hands. It wasn't normal for James to be open with his feelings; that wasn't the type of guy he was. Sirius knew him well enough to know that he didn't need to say anything...it was just enough for him to be there and listen to him. The rest of the afternoon, they played a few games of chess, the way it had been before everything had changed. At 5:30, James thought that Lily was probably home, and he packed up Harry, thanked Sirius for having him and Harry over and gave him a hug goodbye.

When he strolled through the front door, Lily was sitting on the couch staring off into space, her long red hair messy around her pretty face. She looked up when she heard the door close, and James could see that her eyes were red as if she'd been crying.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, but she said nothing at first, just held her arms out for the baby. Harry cooed when she held him, glad to be in his mother's arms again. She hugged him tightly and patted his back, eventually looking up at James after a moment.

"Petunia said she and Vernon want nothing to do with us. She called us freaks, said Harry was a freak and was bound to end up in some unfortunate incident as a result of being a wizard. It was awful, James." She said, getting teary-eyed again.

"Hey, don't cry. Petunia and Vernon are the worst sort of Muggles, you know that. Harry's better off without them in his life and so are we. We have an amazing family, and we're all going to be just fine." James wrapped his arms around his wife and son in a family hug, completely unaware of what was to come, completely unaware of the extraordinary things the boy in their arms was destined for.


End file.
